Love God, Love Others

It's crazy how easily we lose sight of what's important. It's crazy how quickly we humans forget. It's just crazy.

It's crazy to think that just over a year and a half ago if you asked me if I knew I was loved I would have responded, "Without a shadow of a doubt! God loves me more than anyone ever could and I know that ONE HUNDRED percent!"

And here I sit, a little over a year and a half later, doubting God's love for me.

You see, after my father passed away I was showered with SO much love, prayers, hugs, letters of encouragement. You name it, I got it. I felt love in so many ways and of course I gave all the credit to God, and rightly so. I truly believe He deserves all the thanks for the love His children showed me in the time of hurt and confusion my family and I were experiencing.

But why can't I feel it now? Is it because my wounds have scarred over into tougher flesh? Is it because I stopped being flooded with facebook messages and cards? Or is it simply because I stopped looking?

In that time I didn't have to look. I literally had people jumping on me to give me all the love and comfort I needed and then some. I couldn't be more grateful for that. But soon after, people started moving on with their lives. My hurt was no longer their hurt. That's just the way things are and no one can be mad for that. Life moves on.

But I didn't.

I was sent into a spiral of self pity. Since I wasn't getting pity from others, I subconsciously decided to pity myself in order to make others pity me. (Sounds disgusting and manipulative, I know, but I didn't recognize I was doing this until later). I ended up taking advantage of the ones I loved most and who loved me most because I simply couldn't get enough pity. All the while, I was literally blind. I had no idea this is what I was doing. Luckily, I had people who knew me better than I did. I can't thank them enough for what they did for me.

I had no idea how right they were because of how blind I was. I bought into a lie straight from Satan himself.

"You are not good enough. No one really loves you. You will never be able to get out of this hole you dug yourself so why even try? All of your labor is in vain. Just give up."

And that's is exactly what I did.

I gave up. I gave up on my friendships. I gave up on my classes. I gave up on everything.

It wasn't until I moved away that I was able to realize all of this. It wasn't until I had this veil of lies lifted from my face that I was able to see how correct my cherished friends really were.

A dear friend text me today with these simple words,

"Hey I love you"

It was as simple as that. We started off our conversation as normal, "I miss you." "I miss you, too." Blah blah blah, but a simple reminder of where I was a little over a year and a half ago was what we both needed.

She simply reminded me of a status I had posted on my 20th birthday.

The status reads:

"Wow, God. You truly never cease to amaze me. You are the EVERLASTING God. You do NOT fail. I have never been so sure of your love for me than on this day. God, you really do make beautiful things out of dust. You have blest me with a family that loves me and a school that loves me. You have turned what I thought was going to be the worst birthday ever into the absolute, without a doubt, BEST birthday ever. While these days will be SO hard to come, I will look to you for guidance. I will look to you for peace. I will look you for the comfort that only you can give. God, you are so incredible. I thank you so much for the wonderful father I had and the life he lived. I know he loved me so much. God, I love you so much. You are the only reason I'm getting to celebrate 20 years of life on this beautiful earth you created. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, SO much, for EVERYTHING."

Like I said, I knew God loved me beyond a shadow of a doubt.

He still does. I know that, but I had lost sight of it.

Do we lose faith in God because we, His children, are failing to let others know how truly loved we are?

I know I do not let others know how much they mean to me nearly as often as I should.

I John 4:11 -- "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."

It's as simple as that ladies and gents. Let others know how truly loved they are. Not only by you, but by our Almighty Father!

I challenge those who have made it this far in my ramblings, as well as myself, to let others know the love you have for them, but more importantly the love God has for them. Join me in this challenge.

After all, aren't the greatest commands to love God and others?