Upside Down

For over a year now my life has changed more than I could ever imagine. I completed my first year of college while preparing for a semester in Zambia, worked my first job, moved for Zambia for 2.5 months, lost my father, and now I'm preparing to move back to the States after spending time with missionaries in Tanzania and a 3 day safari. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined getting this opportunity, much less actually taking it. I have learned so many things. I have been changed in so many ways. Most importantly, I have seen God in so many new ways and I have grown so much closer to Him.

After returning to Namwianga after a long 9 days at home with my family, I was consumed in trying to catch up on school work and doing everything I could before it was time to leave. My days were mainly filled with classes and going to The Haven to spend time with the precious babies I had grown to love before my unexpected trip home. The night I got back, I was informed about a new baby that had arrived at the Haven the day everyone found out I was coming back. Nothing out of the ordinary. What took me by complete surprise is that her name is Petra! What?! A Zambian baby that I get to share a name with?! Crazy thing is, she came named that. It wasn't like she was named after me, she her parents just happened to name her that. Funny the way things work.(Meagan Hawley's blog about the day baby Petra arrived)

My last 3 weeks at Namwianga were wonderful. I'm so blessed to have had the opportunity to go back and to strengthen the relationships that I had barely started. I still can't quite believe that I'm back in Africa. Even more so, I can't believe I'm leaving in just 8 days.

The last 2 weeks have been filled with travels and adventures. Our time with the missionaries in Tanzania was such a blessing. I learned so much that can't exactly be learned in a classroom setting. I've also learned that it's frustrating when you don't even know a little bit of the language to do simple things like greet people or just say, "thank you". After spending a few days with them, we were packing our bags once again to prepare for our 3 day safari.

This was an incredible time! I got to see so much of God's beautiful creation and even got to be in the same car as an African Monkey thief! He stole Sarah's apple after she welcomed him by feeding him bread. Ha! Needless to say, we freaked out just a little when that little rascal dropped into our safari car from the roof. As part of our safari we got to camp out on the rim of the Ngorongoro crater. I have never seen a more beautiful sunrise! God truly is an awesome God. His creation is breathtaking.

As for now, I'm sitting in a guesthouse in Jinja, Uganda. While it is nice to have free time, it's also torture.  I have so many thoughts running through my mind. So many questions.

"Where did the time go? Am I really going to be back in the States a week from tomorrow? Will people understand me when I get home? Will they really care about all of the stories I want to tell? Have I really changed that much? Did I really just go through all of this? When will I wake up from this dream?" and so many more...

My life has been turned upside down. There are so many emotions running through me that I never know I could feel. There are so many uncertainties.

Through all of these uncertainties, I know one thing is certain. God is faithful. He is good. I know that he will get me through these questions. While I might not understand them, I know He understands everything. I don't have to fear the unknown, the hardships, and whatever else.

I was reminded of this in one of my favorite songs that we sang tonight at our family meeting.

Isaiah 43
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and the waves will not consume you. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. For I am the Lord, your God. I am the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I am the Lord (Do not fear)."

God is with Me

It's October 8th, 5:45am and I wake up to someone pounding on our front door. "GO AWAY!" I yell in my head, "I still have like 30 minutes to sleep before I have to get up for class." Little did I know that this was about to change my life forever.

Ba Katie and Ba Janice eventually find their way in and make it to my bedside. "Petra, it's Katie. We need you to come to the Hamby, your mom is on the phone."

I knew something was wrong when I asked, "Is something wrong?" and no one answered as I pulled on my long purple skirt that I had thrown by my bed the night before.

Ba Jeremy met me at the door of the Hamby, led me to his office, and sat me down in his chair. He looked at me with heartbreak in his eyes. "Petra," he began,"your mom is going to call here in about a minute. I need you to prepare yourself for some disturbing news." I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. About 15 seconds later, the phone rang. "Petra, I need to tell you something that's very hard for me to say. You have people with you, right?"

"Yes, Mom."

"I love you very much, sweetie."

My heart felt like it was about to explode from how hard it was pounding.

"Your dad is no longer living."

My heart dropped. "What do you mean?! How did it happen?! What happened?!"

"He killed himself......"

My mind went blank. I couldn't say anything. The room felt like it was spinning and I felt like I could throw up at any second.

"I love you so much, sweetie. We've got to get you home. You'll be with me at 10:30 in the morning. They'll get you home, okay? I love you. See you soon."

The next few hours felt like days. I packed up all of my stuff, said my goodbyes and I was on the cruiser to the airport. From the moment I found out to the moment I was on the plane, prayers and songs did not cease from my group.

God was with me.

As I sat in my terminal in Livingstone waiting for my flight I opened one of the cards a team member had written and stuffed in my backpack for me to find. I began finding more and more cards. I couldn't hold back the tears.

God was with me.

I boarded my plane, found my seat, sat down and tried to go to sleep. It wasn't any use. As we took off, I stared out the window and said goodbye to the wonderful country I had grown to love in the short month and a half I had been there. The tears rolled. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided to read. Reading always makes me sleepy. I got my Bible out and began to read through scriptures my team members wrote in the cards they wrote me. Somehow they knew exactly what to write to give me comfort in this desperate time.

God was with me.

It seemed as though the 2 hour flight was not long enough to get all of the comfort I needed. I almost begged for more time on that plane, but I was so ready to get off. As I walked to my terminal, I felt like a zombie. I felt like I was the only one in the Johannesburg International Airport. I found myself mad at all of the shops I passed. Claiming to have authentic African merchandise. I couldn't help but just shake my head at every store I passed saying, "If only they knew." I finally found my terminal after about 10 minutes of walking. I sat down next to a place to charge my laptop, but quickly remembered I left my adapter in Zambia. As I went to get my laptop, I noticed the phone Jeremy had given me was ringing. It was my mom. It was so good to hear her voice, just the sound of it made my eyes well up. I told her I made it to my gate and the flight was fine. She then asked if I wanted to talk to Pierce, my older brother I hadn't talked to in about a month.

"Petra, I love you so much. We're going to get through this. I love you so much, Petra. I'll see you soon." That's pretty much all he could get out before the call dropped. I later found out that that phone wasn't even supposed to work because it had a Zambian sim card.

God was with me.

The 16 hour flight to Atlanta was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I got some sleep, not much, but at least it was some. Soon enough I was landing in Atlanta. I cleared customs without any trouble. The people were all so nice and the last thing they said before letting me go was, "Welcome back!" I found my next gate and plugged my laptop in to charge. As I was reading some of my messages on facebook I noticed a man sit down right in front of me.

"Why is this man sitting in front of me when clearly he can see that I'm upset AND there are SO many empty seats around?" I thought to myself. After a few seconds, I notice him lean forward. He tapped me on the knee. "What does this guy want?" I asked myself as I began to raise my head. When my eyes landed on his face, I was so confused but I immediately jumped up, threw my arms around him, and began to cry even harder. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to see you, silly!" said my cousin Eddie!

I could not believe it! We sat down, he called my mom and I got to talk to her for a few short minutes before I gave my attention back to Eddie and Ann. We talked about Zambia until it was time for me to board. They weren't even supposed to get through security.

God was with me.

My flight to Huntsville was the longest shortest flight I've ever been on. When we landed, I couldn't get off of that plane quicker. Walking through that tunnel seem like forever, but before I was out, I could see my mom and brother standing there waiting for me. They didn't even recognize me until I was right up on them. We embraced and I knew I was home. They, too, were not supposed to get through security.

God was with me.

I was dreading the next day, October 10th, my 20th birthday. As soon as I woke up, I checked facebook. One post after another saying, "Happy birthday!" Really, guys? You really think I can be happy when I just lost my father 3 days ago? HA! Good one. The day seemed to drag on forever, but things started going uphill when I went out to eat with my family. We laughed and had a good ole time all while eating my favorite, Mexican!

Later that night was when things completely turned around for me. Some people at Harding were meeting at 10 to have a prayer service for me and my family. I had the amazing blessing of being skyped in. Never in my life have I been so uplifted and felt God's presence than during that time. Somehow they knew exactly what songs were my favorites, even though I hadn't told anyone. They knew exactly what to pray to give me comfort and peace. People that don't even know me were there lifting my family and me up in prayer the the Healer and Comforter.

God was with me.

From this moment on I have continually felt God's presence. Yes, times are hard. Yes, I get overwhelmed with emotions and questions that will never be answered, but I know one thing that will remain. God's everlasting love for His children. I am so incredibly blessed to be a student at Harding University, but even more than that, I am SO blessed to be a child of God. He has understanding that surpasses all other and I will cling to that until the day I get to be with Him for eternity. I still have
much healing to do, but I know that...

God IS with me. Now and forever.

Touristy Travels

Since the last time I blogged so much has happened. I’ve done the “Cinnamon Challenge,” visited Macha Hospital, and even jumped off the side of a cliff!

Believe it or not, things can get a bit boring when there’s not classes to go to, children to be with, or patients to tend to. Some of our group had the great idea to make a “Hardcore Parkour” video. It started last weekend when we made our first walking trip to town. The road to town is 7 kilometers and there’s only so much one can talk about on an hour and a half walk. Anyway, someone had the bright idea to do the “Cinnamon Challenge.” If you don’t know what that is, it’s when you get a spoon, fill it with cinnamon and try to eat it without throwing up. It is a challenge indeed. I thought I could do it, but once it started coming out of my nose as I was breathing, I lost it. I’m proud to say I didn’t throw up, but I certainly didn’t complete the challenge! Oh well, better luck next time, right? Everything smelt like cinnamon for the next few hours and I thought I would never be able to eat anything with cinnamon on it again, but I ate cinnamon toast the next week. 

Thursday we had the awesome opportunity to visit Macha Hospital. It was so interesting to see. We were greeted by one of the founders. He gave us a tour of the different wards which consist of Men’s, Women’s, Children’s, Chronic Care, Prenatal, and Postnatal. He told us that there is no intensive care. He said, “If you’re not breathing, you don’t get care from Macha.” I thought this was pretty interesting, but you do what you can. He showed us the “waiting room” which was called the “Fires” because this is where the families would sleep and make their food while visiting their relative that’s in the hospital. He also took us to the lab where they do testing. The most interesting thing I about Macha was that they have a whole building dedicated to Malaria research. They even breed and grow mosquitos. That freaked me out just a little considering I’m always the first to get bit. My parents told me when I was little it’s because I was so sweet. Don’t really know how true that is today! Ha!! 

Friday we left at 5:30am for our weekend in Livingstone. This is where we became tourists for a weekend. I must admit, I didn’t like it too much. That morning I rode elephants. That certainly was an adventure. Our elephant freaked out a little bit and strayed from the rest when we were crossing the deep waters. No worries, though, our guide had everything under control and got us back on land safe and sound. The next thing we know, our “Protector Man” was running toward a wild elephant with his gun. Our guide simply told us to “hold on tight!” We really thought there was about to be and Elly Fight! The cutest things were the baby ellies that went on the walk with us. One of them tried stealing our elephant’s food and ended up sniffing our feet in the process. 

That afternoon a group of us headed to Victoria Falls to go on the Devil’s Pool walk. We walked on top of the falls to get to our destination. In our group we had a German, an Englander, a Canadian, a mother and son from Delaware, and a man from Nashville. Quite the variety, I’d say.  While crossing the Falls, we had to make a chain when wading through rapids so we wouldn’t have a straight shot to the Zambezi! We had to swim about 15 meters to climb on the rocks above the Devil’s Pool. We all jumped in and then we got to hang off the edge of the falls!!! I have to admit, I was a bit scared! Heights are not my thing. It was absolutely gorgeous, though! We got to watch the sunset on our walk back. When we got back to the entrance, we decided to visit that shops. Of course, we were bombarded by the shopkeepers. I have never felt more manipulated in my life. One man tried to offer me a bracelet that would normally cost $1 at the most in the States for 100,000 Kwacha which the equivalent of $20. You know my reply was “CHADULA!” (“too much” in Tonga).  Once I was finished shopping in with one guy, he hands my purchases to his friend. His friend takes my stuff, offers me a stool, and begins to wrap it up and while he’s doing that, he’s also showing me what he has to offer me. “Tandiyandi! Tandiyandi!” which means, “I don’t want! I don’t want!” came out of my mouth probably 100 times! They would just put stuff in your lap. Needless to say, I was annoyed. That night, we had a talent show with our group. It was great to see everyone’s hidden talents! I mean, who knew Phil could blow balloons up with his nose while Seth is reading haikus?

The next morning we woke up to head out to our Adventure Day! When we first got there, we were briefed about all the things we would be doing that day. There was repelling, zip lining, and the infamous gorge swing! I began my day with zip lining out over the gorge, Superman style! That was incredible! Such an adrenaline rush! Of course you have confidence in your harness and the cable holding you, but it just takes your breath away when your feet leave the ground and you’re flying 50 plus meters above the ground! Next, since I decided against the repelling, I headed to the gorge swing. I was pretty nervous about that. Again, I have complete confidence in the equipment, but there’s alway that slight doubt about “What if I’m the one person it breaks on?!” Well, I chose to ignore that and to get harnessed up with Kailey. Once we practiced how we would be falling, we headed to get all strapped in. We scooted to the edge with our heels hanging off and waited until our safety guy counted down to one. “Three, two, one, BINGO!” We raised our toes, and there we went. Free falling 53 meters, 3.5 seconds, praying to God our cord did snap when we caught. I was silent the whole way down, but once it caught, a scream of pure happiness and excitement came out of my mouth! There we were, swinging from a cord in this huge gorge! The worst part was when we stopped swinging and we had to be lowered to the ground. Those harnesses are NOT comfortable, at ALL! The next worse was having to hike back up to the top. Fifteen minutes of climbing steep rocks. Not my idea of fun. 

Sunday we went to church. They were a little upset that we didn’t tell them we were coming. They wanted our men to do the service. It’s tradition to let the visitors share their knowledge to the hosts. The service was wonderful, even though our group was trying not to pass out from the heat. At one point, I looked across the crowd and we were all fanning ourselves while that Zambians were just sitting there paying perfect attention to the speaker. We Mukuas (white people) just aren’t used to this Zambian heat yet. Once service let out, we all greeted one another and they continued to the baptism! We loded up our land cruiser and bus to get some lunch before it was time to head back to Namwianga. We obviously chose the wrong place to eat. It took us an hour and a half to get our food. Just a word of advice, when in Livingstone, Zamia, never eat at the Rite Bar and Pub. 

I was so happy to be back on the Mission. We were no longer tourists or strangers. This is our home now. People don’t seem too surprised when we greet them in Tonga as they did when we arrived a month ago. Things that we found odd are now just normal everyday things. 

We got some unexpected news when we got back. One of our team members would be returning to the U.S. She actually left Wednesday. I still can’t really believe she’s gone. We were just starting to get close and open up about our lives to one another. I guess it just goes to show that time here really is short. We must be intentional with all of our relationships. While returning home is, indeed, what she needed, it was still very hard to see her go. 

Lord, I pray that You watch over each and every one of us, whether we be in Zambia, the United States, South America, or wherever. I pray You give us healing where we are suffering. I pray You give us comfort where we are hurting. I pray that we are intentional, not only in relationships, but in everything we do. I pray we keep You first, that we give YOU the glory for everything that is good. We know You are good. We know You are faithful. Your Presence is incredible. Thank You so much for everything. Thank You for the suffering, for it’s through suffering that we draw closer to You. Thank You for weakness, for it’s in our weakness that You are strong. Thank You for Your love, for without it, we would be nothing. Thank You for Your Son! Thank You for Your Spirit that fills us. Thank YOU, LORD! Let it be so. Amen.

Die in Your Arms

Words can’t express my emotions. It’s one thing to be told that a baby you met two weeks ago has passed, but it’s a whole different situation to be with a baby for one month from the time she was one week old, and to watch her lie helplessly in the arms of someone who has fought for her and who has loved her from the moment she was brought to the Haven. 

Last week I, along with Holly and Kaitie, got to go with Meagan to take baby Jensen to see the head of the Kalomo district Health Care. We three girls sat attentively while we watch Meagan do her thing. While on our way to the appointment, she told us that normally doctors will simply say a baby is “just fine” even when they can clearly see that this is not the case. Fortunately, this was the son-in-law of Momma, the head of the Havens, and quickly stated that something was wrong and action needed to be taken. He referred her to be admitted to Zimba Hospital that day. Before we knew it, Jensen was on her way.

We hadn’t heard anything for a few days so I inquired about her Last night. Katie Daggett informed me that she hadn’t gotten much better and that we would know more tomorrow. Well, tomorrow’s here. After our family meeting, we got news that Meagan had brought Jensen home with her. She hadn’t gotten any better and she had been brought home to die. Normally I would think this to be so cruel. “Why isn’t she in the hospital where she can get help? Why isn’t she hooked up to tubes to get nutrients and medicines she needs?” These questions would have gone through my head had I not been exposed everything that I have in the past month. Normally, I would be running from this situation, not wanting to go near this child in fear of the pain and sorrow that this would cause my heart. But when Katie asked me if I wanted to go see baby Jensen after the meeting was over, I couldn’t say no. As soon as hugs were given, Holly, Kaitie, Katie, and I made the short walk to Meagan’s house.

When we walked through the door, my eyes went straight to Meagan. She was holding that baby girl so closely and you could see the love in her eyes for that child. We all walked over to look at Jensen. She looked so different from a week ago sitting in the doctor’s office. She didn’t have as much life in her. She was pale and her breathing was more labored than before. One thing remain the same though, that crazy, wild, jet black hair. The most beautiful hair I have ever seen a baby have. We all sat in silence just admiring this sweet little baby. She had fought for so long and didn’t seem to be giving up. Ba Lou told us that she was really close to letting go before we got there, but somehow, she pulled through and got to the “stable” state she was in. Ba Janice showed up shortly after that. She checked her heart rate and breathing. She said her heart was strong and her lungs were clear for her condition. Pretty soon we began to chit chat a bit to somewhat ease our minds of the situation at hand, but it wasn’t long until little Jensen’s breathing became more labored and shorter. I couldn’t help but to bow my head and pray to my Lord and Creator.

“God, just stop this baby from suffering. She has fought for so long. She’s hurt for so long. God just take her! Take her into your arms. Take her where she’ll never hurt again, where she’ll never have to have another needle stuck in her, another IV in her tiny baby hand, another test run on her. Lord, just take her to spend eternity with you!”

There were so many times when I thought, “This is it, she’s gone to be with You, Lord,” but she continued to fight. She hasn’t given up yet. Before we left, her breathing and heart rate had slowed and her temperature had dropped. It’s so hard to sleep knowing that tonight could be her last. 

It’s ironic how life works sometimes. Earlier today I was in Haven 3 celebrating Marisa’s first birthday. Little did I know that I would be watching and waiting for 5 week old baby Jensen to take her last breath. 

What would have been, “Why isn’t she in the hospital where she can get help? Why isn’t she hooked up to tubes to get nutrients and medicines she needs?” a month ago has now turned into, “Thank you, God, for giving Jensen Meagan and all the aunties at the Havens. Thank you, God, for letting this baby die peacefully, with no tubes in her, in the arms of someone who loves her. Thank you, God, for giving this baby a woman who fought for her and gave her every chance she could. Thank you, God, for being faithful and for loving us even when we turn against you. You are good all the time. In birth and in death, in happy times and in sad, in everything, You are good. Your love never fails.”

Weddings, Wildfires, and Wailing

As I sit here looking back on what I have experienced over the past week, I can’t help but be flooded with emotions. 

Saturday morning we had a sun day of going to town and shopping for specific items. We had to use the Tonga which we’ve been learning in our class that starts at 6:30 morning! After we found our items, the girls proceed to chitenge shopping for the wedding. I went a little overboard and bought 4 and it looks like I will be buying plenty more while I’m here. They are so comfortable! 

Sunday was a day of rejoicing and pure happiness. Early in the morning, our group loaded up to take a 3 hour drive out to a village church. Our men did a wonderful job of leading the worship service. We thought we would be the only ones there along with about 3 Zambians, but slowly the people started trickling in. By the end of our service, we had a total of 102 people jam-packed in the tiny little church building. We again were asked to sing some songs. The Zambian people are such happy folks! They just love the fact that we are trying to embrace their culture and language. Once the service concluded, everyone filed out and greeted one another. We then headed out to the village to attend the wedding! We were greeted by hooping and hollering and smiles! They immediately invited us to dance. They broke out the drums and started dancing and singing a song which we later found out was about an adulterous woman that was a part of their village. The singing and dancing went on for 20 straight minutes and was interrupted by a wildfire. That was probably one of the scariest/most helpless moments I’ve ever witnessed in my life. God was definitely watching over us. After we all calmed down we stood around for a while before the music started back up and the actual wedding began. The “wedding party” was made up of younger boys and girls. They formed two lines and danced to get the groom and his best man and then back to get the bride and her maid of honor and then to the place in which the ceremony would take place. There was so much joy on all of the faces around us except for the bride and groom. This is because the bride is showing that she is sad to leave her family and the groom is showing respect to her family. The actual ceremony only last a few minutes and then the gift giving began. It was an experience I will never forget. 

The rest of the week was full of classes and homework/reading assignments with some fun thrown in there every now and then. I spent a bunch of time at the Havens this week. I spent time with Marisa and Tim and I even got to help Meagan a bit with language class at Haven 2. I had a breakthrough with Tim with the help of Holly. He walked all by himself! And on top  of that, he was babbling and laughing!! The most he’s ever done! I’m so proud of that boy. He’s doing great. He’s just so perfect. Marisa developed a cold and was not the happiest little girl that I know her to be. I hated to see her so unhappy. I got to go to Zimba with Meagan and several others to take Caleb and Paula to get their feet casted to help their clubbed feet. That was so interesting! Wednesday night a few girls and I climbed up on the storage containers to look up at the African stars. The sky is so clear here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many stars in my life. God’s creation is so incredible! Friday night Holly and I got to spend the night at the Havens. We helped with folding laundry, feeding and changing babies, washing bottles, clothes, and dirty nappies. I also got to have a Bible study with auntie Betty. What an incredible/exhausting night.

Thursday was not the best day for getting news. After breakfast we were told that Adam, a baby in Haven 3 passed away. It all hit us pretty hard considering how quickly everything happened. One day he’s running around with yogurt all over his face, saying “HALLO!!”, and pulling cushions off of chairs and couches, and the next he’s gone. It’s still so hard to believe that when I go to the Havens, he won’t be there. None of us saw it coming. We attended the funeral today. I’ve never, in my life, witnessed something like that. The aunties that I saw the day Adam died, going on like nothing had happened, were expressing so much emotion. Emotions I have never seen before. Wailing. Wailing for the hurt caused by the loss of their dear Adam. He had been through so much, they all had grown attached to him. He was so loved by those aunties. Seeing that little body lying in that tiny coffin is a sight I never thought I would be seeing. I knew coming here that this was definitely a possibility, but never once did I think is was actually become reality. This child, this boy, loved by so many didn’t even get to live his life. He didn’t get to go to school, raise a family, and whatever else he might have gotten to do. On the other hand, he never got the chance to mess up. He lived his short innocent life and is now sitting on Jesus’ lap. That happy child will never have to go to another clinic or hospital, have another test run, get anymore blood drawn or shots. He’s home. He’s spending eternity with our Lord and Savior. When I think about this, I can’t be sad. I’m so jealous of him, actually. While we do miss him, it’s only selfish to want him back here with us. 

God is still good. Even through this suffering, he is still so good! He is faithful when we are faithless. He’s always with us no matter what. He is the ultimate comforter, and while we mourn the loss of this precious child, we have the hope of believers that we will be reunited with him in Heaven. 

When the Lights are Out

It’s our first night with no electricity. We’ve been kept busy by going to the clinic, the Haven, with reading assignments, helping out in the kitchen, classes, and learning Tonga songs. Our days here feel so short because of everything we do. Since the last time I’ve written, I’ve gotten sick, been to Victoria Falls, gotten a truck out of a sand ditch, fell in love with babies, and worshiped with our brothers and sisters in an African village. 

Friday night was a very eventful one after I turned in for the night. Exactly one hour after going to sleep, I was rudely awakened by nauseousness in my belly. Considering it’s been years since I’ve throw up, I was extremely surprised to figure out that I was the first of our group to get sick. I stayed up until about 5am making friends with both the toilet and the trash can at the same time. Not the ideal way I wanted to spend the night before we would be traveling to Livingstone. Thank God I felt better in the morning. The only thing that was really wrong with me was that I was dehydrated and quite exhausted from the lack of sleep. 

Saturday we made our way to Livingstone to see the “7th Wonder of the World”. I must admit, even though they weren’t to their full potential, Victoria Falls were beautiful! I was absolutely amazed! I didn’t get to do as much as I wanted since I was still so tired and trying to get rehydrated, so after I walked around for about 20 minutes, I found a spot, sat, and marveled at the awesomeness of God’s creation. As soon as I saw someone from out group, I stood up to greet them, but as soon as I did, I was bombarded with Africans asking to get a picture with me! It was quite a hilarious incident. They lined up and one by one, they would put their arm around me an smile for the camera. They even handed me their babies! Once they were finished, as I was walking away I heard some of them say, “Hollywood! Hollywood!” I wonder who they thought I was.... 

Sunday was quite an eventful day. After breakfast, we loaded up to head out to the village church. Jeremy was driving the truck I was in and he kept mentioning things that were wrong with it as we drove away from the mission. About halfway through our drive, Phil says, “There is SO much sand!” and right after he finished his statement, our truck gets stuck. HA! Just our luck.  So, of course, we all unload and try to push the truck out of the sand. After about 3 attempts and no success, we were so fortunate when a woman came along on her way to church and without asking her, she just started helping us. The next thing we know, we’re out of the sand. Without her help, I’m sure we would have been there way longer than we wanted. Needless to say, we gave her a ride to church to thank her. 

Service was great! The Zambians’ voices are just beautiful and their songs aren’t missing a single part. Some of the guys had the opportunity to participate in leading the service. At the end, we all got to go up to the front and sing some songs we knew in Tonga. They were only expecting one, but we surprised them with 3 songs in our broken Tonga.

The rest of the week has just been filled with classes and going to the havens. Yesterday I was a part of the group that got oriented at the clinic and today I got to go to actually work. Since today wasn’t a busy day at the clinic, we headed to the Havens to check babies’ weights and give them immunizations. I actually got to give a baby a shot!! It was one of the most exhilarating feelings! I wasn’t really nervous to give it, but as soon as I pulled the needle out of that sweet baby’s leg, my hands were shaking so much I almost couldn’t get the Band-Aid on! I really hope I get to do more hands-on learning. 

Tomorrow we’ll get to go to the market to practice what we’ve been learning in our Tonga class. We’ll also have to buy some chitanges for the traditional Zambian wedding we’re getting to go to on Sunday! Can’t wait! Until next time guys. I’ll try to make it sooner than this last one. Sorry for the delay!

Peace and Love.

Our First Full Day

What a day today has been! We started off with breakfast and orientation in the morning. Megan Hawley gave us a good talk about what to expect from the Havens and aunties. We also got to hear a little of the Merritt’s story from Kathy. She’s such a servant of God and I only hope one day I can be like her! 

We had our first traditional Zambian meal of nsima, cabbage, tomato sauce stuff, chicken, and rice. Every Thursday we have traditional food for lunch. I must admit, it was pretty darn tasty! After lunch we put our sunscreen and hats on, filled our water up and made the 1.5 mile trek up to the Havens. While we were walking, Megan assigned babies to those who wanted them. She gave me Tim in Haven 1 and Marisa in Haven 3. Once we got there, we toured the havens and each of us were introduced to the aunties and our babies that we’ll be working with for the next 3 months. Tim (1 year) is such a cutie! He looks like a little man! Our goals for my time here is for him to start walking and saying words! Marisa (11 months) is in Haven 3 and that’s where the sick babies live. Our goals are to get her more comfortable on her stomach, a stronger core, and to get her vocalizing! 

We ended our tour at Haven 2 where the toddlers live. They are a handful, that’s for sure! We were told we had an hour to do whatever we wanted, so I went to Haven 3 to spend some time with Marisa! When I got there she was lying in her crib with her bottle. She still had some left, so I picked her up and let her finish it while I sat in a rocking chair. Once she was finished I stood up to walk around with her and before I got out of the room, she threw up on me! And it wasn’t just a little spit up, it was like Ole Faithful was erupting! I was fine, though. I was more concerned about her and the other children’s well-being. I hope she’s not too sick. After Christine, one of the aunties, got me cleaned up, I got to spend some time with Leo! He’s such a precious boy! I sat with him in my lap while Marisa and her sister Maya sat in some booster chairs next to us. It’s so surreal to finally hold babies that you have been praying for all summer! 

After about 30 minutes in Haven 3, I made my way over to Haven 1 so I could spend some time with Tim before it was time to leave. I sat on the couch with several others and their babies and got Timmy to clap! Before it was time to leave, I got Tim to walk back to his crib using my hands to keep him from falling! He’s already doing so well!

We walked back and started unpacking a container before it was time for dinner. I really don’t think there’s such a thing as a bad meal here in Zambia! Ba Leonard is spoiling us, for sure! After dinner, Holly and I made our first adventure to the shower house! We started by killing a wasp. Halfway through my shower, a HUGE spider came crawling into my shower and scared me half to death! Right as I wrapped my towel around myself, another wasp came flying in my stall and landed on me! I smacked it off of me, but then it landed on Holly and it stung her through her shirt! I ended up killing it with her Chaco. Now, I’m sitting in the living room of our house with Aubrey and River who are journalling and Molly who is passed out asleep on the couch! There’s about an hour before tea time which I am very much looking forward to, as well as bed time! 

Until next time, guys.

No Turning Back

Well, guys, this is it! There’s no turning back now. I’m officially in Zambia!

After coming up to Harding on Thursday to see some people before leaving for three months and saying bye to my Mom who I probably won’t get to talk to much, our group departed for HUT on Friday afternoon. The send off was very emotional. I was doing well holding back my tears until Kelly prayed over Holly and me. I am definitely going to miss my little Harding family (yes, Cierra, Kaitlyn, and Kelly, that means you). I am so blessed to have the friends and family that I have. 

Our time at HUT was packed with both fun and class. Before we got out there we got to go swimming at the Fouts Farm. It was nice to have some fun before we dove straight into  our Missionary Anthropology class. The rest of our weekend was basically class and bonding time. Sunday we had worship in the amphitheater. Some former HIZzers came out to worship with us. We learned some new songs in Tonga. That made me so excited to worship with our brothers and sisters in Africa! It’s so crazy to think that halfway around the world there are people gathering to worship and praise the same God and Creator that we do here in the United States.

Today was basically filled with packing and cleaning up the Smith building at HUT. Jeffery Hopper and some others came to give us some last minute advice and to have lunch before we left for the airport. Once we got to the airport, it took us a while to get checked in, but going through security went pretty smoothly, although I did get a pat down because my necklace showed up on the x-ray. I guess it’s not really a good thing to be so ticklish in times when you’re supposed to be serious! Oh well.. 

Both of our long flights went very well! We made our connection in Amsterdam and so did all of our luggage. Well, with the exception of Phil’s suitcase with all of his clothes. I’m sure we’ll figure something out! We had a short ride to the Portea Hotel, which is very nice might I add. We unloaded, got our roommates, and headed up to our room. We got to take one last hot shower for the next 3 months. 

It all hasn’t hit me yet. I don’t feel like I’m really going to be living in Zambia for 3 months. I’m sure it will sooner or later, but as of now, I feel like it’s just a little vacation. I can’t wait to get settled in our houses and rooms tomorrow, or should I say later today? Either way, I’m still very excited to actually see where I’ll be living for the semester! 

I’m here. This is what I’ve been preparing for for the last year.

This is it, guys. There’s no turning back. 

What If..?

As I'm lying here on my bed after cleaning for my "Going away/Early Birthday" party, I can't help but be flooded with overwhelming emotions about what is about to take place. I can't believe that my trip of a lifetime will be beginning in just 9 short days. NINE! We're in single digits now!  I can remember the day I found out I was chosen for this trip. It was so far in the distance, I didn't even think it was possible. Now it's so close I can't even wrap my mind around the concept of being on a plane in just a little over a week. I mean, come one! Really?? This isn't really happening, is it?

With all of that running through my mind I also have the dreaded fear of the "what ifs" mixed right in my thoughts.

"Petra, what if you're forgetting something? Even worse, what if they lose your luggage!? OR you could get there and absolutely hate every second of it. You could even just be horrible at everything you do. Why did you even sign up for this? You know you aren't cut out for it."

All of these thoughts never even crossed my mind a week ago. All I could think bout was how excited I was to go to a new country and love on children. Now, I can't shake the negative from my mind. It's so scary to think that I won't be able to call my mom if/when something goes wrong. All I will have is the 29 others that will be going through the exact same thing.

That right there is what's keeping me going. The 29 others that I came to know and love in the two weeks at the beginning of my summer. Although we weren't exactly in another country and we weren't in any "real" bad situations, I got closer to some of those people in those two weeks than I've ever gotten to some in 2 years. What an incredible feeling knowing that people you love and care about will be right there by your side, every step you take.

I can't imagine what all God has in store for me, but I couldn't be more excited! While I do still have some pre-trip jitters, I have confidence in my God that He will not forsake me! He's proven Himself over and over to me and I have no reason to doubt Him. Whether it be His getting me through my last semester, or these summer classes, or even just comforting me in a time of need, He's always been there. He's never let me down. He never will.

Just thinking about seeing these faces has got my heart in a whirl. I can't wait to meet ever single one of these babies as well as the college students and teachers that we will soon know and love.

Racing

For the past couple days my mind has been racing. Here, there, everywhere. I can't quite fathom the thought that in 10 days I will be boarding a plane to start my life in a foreign country. For the next 3 months, I, as well as 29 others, will be living in Zambia. I have been packing my life into what seem to be 2 tiny bags. It's hard to believe that I will be living out of these when I have a full closet and dresser sitting right next to me. I can't help but think I am forgetting something. While I get this feeling every time I pack to go somewhere, this time it feels a little different. It's not like I'm just going to a different state, where if I forgot toothpaste I could just run to the local Walmart or Target. No, this is way different. I'm going to a place where I have to walk several minutes maybe even an hour to get to town! Wow. My eyes are about to be opened to so many things.

I have never felt so nervous to leave the country before. I mean, I've lived in a Muslim country, been to Mexico, and spent a week in Guyana right before protests started. What makes this so different? Well, for one, I'm not 7 years old and so naive anymore. Two, this isn't just for a week. And three, I know my life is about to be changed forever. I know that God has a plan for me. I know He has so much in store for my life and I know it's only just beginning. What an incredible journey we are about to embark on.

While I am very scared and nervous to see exactly what lies ahead, I choose to press on. To strive  toward that goal of fulfilling my Heavenly Father's commands to love Him, love others, and to spread His Good News! I will continue to run this race, even if it does take me all over the world.

Where HE leads me, I will follow. I'll go with HIM all the way.

Here is the promo video from 2009. Just a short glimpse of what I will begin to experience in 10 days.