What If..?

As I'm lying here on my bed after cleaning for my "Going away/Early Birthday" party, I can't help but be flooded with overwhelming emotions about what is about to take place. I can't believe that my trip of a lifetime will be beginning in just 9 short days. NINE! We're in single digits now!  I can remember the day I found out I was chosen for this trip. It was so far in the distance, I didn't even think it was possible. Now it's so close I can't even wrap my mind around the concept of being on a plane in just a little over a week. I mean, come one! Really?? This isn't really happening, is it?

With all of that running through my mind I also have the dreaded fear of the "what ifs" mixed right in my thoughts.

"Petra, what if you're forgetting something? Even worse, what if they lose your luggage!? OR you could get there and absolutely hate every second of it. You could even just be horrible at everything you do. Why did you even sign up for this? You know you aren't cut out for it."

All of these thoughts never even crossed my mind a week ago. All I could think bout was how excited I was to go to a new country and love on children. Now, I can't shake the negative from my mind. It's so scary to think that I won't be able to call my mom if/when something goes wrong. All I will have is the 29 others that will be going through the exact same thing.

That right there is what's keeping me going. The 29 others that I came to know and love in the two weeks at the beginning of my summer. Although we weren't exactly in another country and we weren't in any "real" bad situations, I got closer to some of those people in those two weeks than I've ever gotten to some in 2 years. What an incredible feeling knowing that people you love and care about will be right there by your side, every step you take.

I can't imagine what all God has in store for me, but I couldn't be more excited! While I do still have some pre-trip jitters, I have confidence in my God that He will not forsake me! He's proven Himself over and over to me and I have no reason to doubt Him. Whether it be His getting me through my last semester, or these summer classes, or even just comforting me in a time of need, He's always been there. He's never let me down. He never will.

Just thinking about seeing these faces has got my heart in a whirl. I can't wait to meet ever single one of these babies as well as the college students and teachers that we will soon know and love.